• Prepare meals - make them healthy and avoid sweets
• Help clean the house or do laundry
• Walk the dog
• Watch the baby so she can sleep
• Take care of the other children - take them to the park or offer play dates
• Cover for her at her school or church volunteer function
• Be her exercise buddy (if she hasn't yet resumed this activity, don’t force her to start)
• Help with transportation to appointments (OB, therapist, support group)
• Be her cheerleader. Say, “You are such an attentive mother” or “Look how he smiles at you”.
• Organize her support system and visitors so she won’t be overwhelmed with multiple visitors one day and be all alone the next three

DON'T:

• Offer your opinions, advice, judge or criticize her or her doctor
• Vent your frustration about her slow progress or the occasional backslip
• Feel hurt if she rejects your offers for help
• Give her plants to cheer her up - she has no time to take care of yet another living thing
• Lie to her about how much better she is doing when she isn’t. Instead, stay neutral and say, “I had never heard about PPD until now”
• Overextend your stay - some mothers can only entertain visitors for a few minutes at a time

The more the support system knows about PPD the better. The recovery time for mom can last from weeks to months, depending on the severity of her condition. Be patient, and don’t give up on her. If you'd like more information on how you can help a postpartum mother, read on. You’ll be surprised.

Don’t judge a book by its cover: A mother dealing with a postpartum mood disorder may present different than your typically depressed person. This woman may do anything to look normal and OK on the outside while her inside is torn up by thoughts and feelings she can neither explain, nor get rid of. She will do anything to hide the shame and guilt associated with not being the perfect mother or for having negative emotions towards the baby. This woman gets up every morning, takes care of the baby all day long or returns to work and seems alright. But. the spotless house and the ability to resume any and all activities without hesitation may be a sign of restlessness, insomnia or even mania. Her mood may change from day-to-day or minute-to-minute. Recovery from PPD is not a straight line. There are frustrations and setbacks. That’s when she needs your support the most. Below you will find a list of things to pay special attention to.

PPD is an imbalance in the mother’s brain chemicals. She can’t "snap out of it" any easier than she could snap out of high blood pressure or diabetes.

Your statements or actions didn’t cause her PPD, even if she blames you for it. But. you can’t take it away or fix it for her either.

The stress of living with a partner suffering from PPD can wear on the dad as well. He, too, may start to show signs of depression or needing some help for himself.

Be patient with the mother. She may be difficult to deal with at times, and be moody or irritable. In some cases, anxiety and/or depression come out as anger. That doesn’t give her permission to make you her punching bag. If needed take some deep breaths, excuse yourself from the room, or count to 10 before answering. Tell her that you understand she is feeling badly, but that you don’t deserve to be treated badly. Offer your continued support if she changes her behavior.

Distract her from her problems by talking about other topics, not related to parenting, mothering or PPD. But avoid horror news stories. Keep it light!